poli-swirl:

Everyone has that one Pokemon region they connect to on a spiritual level

cumfort:

I’m the shoulder you can cry on and the hand that smacks that ass

egberts:

i’m in dis-pear

legains:

If you had sex today I hate you.

drunktrophywife:

babyferaligator:

how much do friends cost

$420.69

the-captains-wife:

dutchster:

worldpeaces:

can we just take a second to realize that there are 14 year olds that weren’t born in the 90’s. just fucking let that sink in.

what the fuck does he want now

image

Thats it that’s the single greatest pun on tumblr

constant-shakes:

Ernie teaching you how to water your bud plants
Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

-― Francis of Assisi (via psych-quotes)

imfindingbeautyinthedissonance:

bumfinger:

Yes or yes?

Abso-fuckin-lutely!

saviikdofron:

"Tumblr is a hate-free environment!"

….

image

funniestpicturesdaily:

Not the time for a dad joke.

rninor:

weepingdildo:

landorus:

lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

"I’ll make you moan, over"

"bend over"
"bend what? over"